Your Stress Doesn't Stay Hidden From Your Kids
You think you're holding it together. Your face is calm, your voice is even, you haven't said a word about the hard day you're having. Your child feels it anyway.
In this episode, Jacquie Langworthy sits down with Dr. Nicole Monteiro, licensed psychologist, professor, and mom of two, to talk about why kids absorb parental stress even when nothing is said out loud. They get into what burnout actually looks like, why anxiety in young kids rarely sounds like anxiety, and how to set boundaries that actually hold. This one is for any parent who is holding it together on the outside and wondering why their child seems more unsettled lately.
Key Takeaways:
Kids mirror what parents feel, not just what parents say. Dr. Monteiro calls this co-regulation: when a parent is unsettled, a child picks up on it through tone, body language, and energy, and becomes unsettled too. The reverse is also true. A parent who settles themselves first gives their child permission to settle as well.
Burnout is not always the crash. It can look like refusing to slow down, tying your value to how much you do for everyone else, and calling it "just being busy" instead of naming it.
Anxiety in young children rarely sounds like "I'm nervous." It shows up as irritability, avoidance, tummy aches, headaches, or trouble sleeping, often before a child has the words to explain what they're feeling.
Timestamps:
00:00 Guest Introduction
16:17 Setting boundaries
16:37 Understanding worry in parenting
40:18 Emotional struggles and how to move through them
1:05:44 The importance of self-care
1:06:12 Being present for our children
Listen now:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/raisingscholars
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-scholars/id1872122649
YouTube: www.youtube.com/@raisingscholarspodcast
About Raising Scholars:
Raising Scholars helps parents of elementary school kids build confident, independent learners without nightly battles. New full-length episodes every Tuesday and Sunday Reset episodes every Sunday.
Download the FREE R.A.I.S.E.™ Starter Kit: https://www.raisingscholarspodcast.com/free-guide
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Connect with Dr. Nicole Monteiro: www.drnicolemonteiro.com