Raising Scholars Season 1, Episode 16: 20 Years Later: Divorce Guilt, Over-Functioning, and the Hidden Costs for Our Kids

Aired on Apr 23, 2026

In this special bonus episode, Jacquie opens up about the complicated feelings that come with parenting after divorce, especially the urge to over-function out of guilt.

As she reflects on what would have been her 20th wedding anniversary, Jacquie explores how doing ‘too much’ for our kids can sometimes hold them back, and shares practical ways to foster independence using the R.A.I.S.E. Scholar Framework. If you’ve ever wondered whether your help is helping or hurting, this episode is for you.

Timestamps

0:00 — Intro — Why This Episode Almost Didn’t Happen

0:42 — Twenty Years Later: Divorce, Motherhood & Reflection

1:48 — Naming Divorce Guilt

3:05 — Losing the Blueprint for Family

3:58 — How Guilt Turned Into Over-Functioning

5:12 — The School Drop-Offs & Overcompensating

6:32 — The Hidden Cost of Doing Too Much

7:45 — Why Kids Need Space to Build Resilience

8:32 — The Gray Area Between Support & Overhelping

9:00 — The R.A.I.S.E. Framework Introduction

9:20 — R — Regulation Before Rigor

10:32 — A — Autonomy Over Assistance

11:28 — I — Instruction vs. Practice

12:18 — S — Systems Beat Willpower

13:02 — E — Evidence Builds Confidence

13:52 — Letting Go of Guilt & Parenting with Intention

14:32 — Free R.A.I.S.E. Guide + Season Two Outro

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